


Lumpy Abyss

by starsinjars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adventure Time AU, Bday fic, Crack Fic, Implied Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, angelic!cas, human!dean, lumpy!john, lumpy!sam, pie-jacked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 21:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsinjars/pseuds/starsinjars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quoting Lumpy Space Princess: “Yeah. You have to travel by car in my world, or else you'll fall into the Lumpy Abyss.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lumpy Abyss

**Author's Note:**

> Bday fic for my friend, who wanted spn in an AT universe. I wonder how crazy I would be on drugs.

Castiel tried his hardest to lift the silver pistol, but it was just too heavy.

"I can't do it, Dean!" Castiel yelled, throwing his hands in the air. He looked to his companion who was jumping high trying to catch a flying bird with jello. "It's too heavy!"

Dean backflipped from the strawberry jello, landing in front of Castiel and picked up the gun with ease.

"It's simple, Cas. Watch me." Dean took a deep breath and took aim at a shuriken tree a few meters away. With a sigh and snap he pulled the trigger, shooting an apple cinnamon bullet at the tree. When it hit its target, the stars fell to the ground shortly followed by ninjas, who stared at the two before picking up their ninja stars and throwing them at the birds in the sky, causing for them to fall to the ground.

Dean turned to Castiel and grinned when the angel provided applause. He then flipped the gun to hand the handle to Castiel. He titled his head proudly. “Think you can do it?”

Castiel looked at the gun but instead of him he reaching out to grab it, he summoned his black-feathered wings. Dean dropped the pistol in surprise and took a step back as Castiel released a glowing feather, aimed straight for the gun. As soon as it made contact, the feather turned it to a piece of apple pie on a plate which Castiel caught in the air before it could land on the ground. He handed the slice to Dean. “There was only one bullet left,” he explained.

Dean nodded slowly as he took the pie, sighing as he knelt down to pick up the bird and retrieve a white feather from its wings. “I told you to warn me before you do that. I’m still not used to that.”

It was Castiel’s turn to grin. “You got used to your body just fine.”

Dean shrugged as he placed the feather on the slice, which disappeared. He then looked over to his back. “I’m just waiting for the feathers to come in. I’m pretty sure Michael’s gonna give me some. Those are gonna be hard to get used to.” He twirled his fingers to summon a fork and tried the pie. “Now this is the feathery, flaky crust that all pie must have.” 

“May I have some?” Castiel asked politely.

Dean looked at what little pie he had left. “You’d have to take it from me,” he said, reaching the last bite. He continued to eat, not noticing Castiel’s intent stare.

He didn’t expect it when Castiel suddenly moved forward and pulled him in for an opened mouth kiss. Dean closed his eyes and melted into his angel’s arms as Castiel’s tongue maneuvered in his mouth. It was a shock when Castiel suddenly pulled back chewing, and Dean realized he had just been pie-jacked. 

“Hey!” he exclaimed, blushing and slightly out of breath. “I was eating that!”

Castiel just closed his eyes and savored the delicious cinnamon with apple along with the feathery crust. When he swallowed he finally replied, “You’re right; it is good.”

Before Dean could reply, a sudden flash of light appeared in front of them. They both stood protective of each other, and then Dean sighed in relief when he saw who it was.

“Sammy! How’ve you been?”

Sam turned to his brother, floating in the air in his Lumpy glory. He looked into those familiar green eyes. “Dean? Is that you?” He looked over and frowned when he spotted Castiel. “It has to be. I’d recognize those feathers anywhere.” He smiled warmly. “This is where you were! Dad’s worried sick about you. He wants you back. I want you back. Please.”

The playful mood suddenly died and was replaced with an icy one. Castiel stood protectively in front of Dean, wings flared out at Sam. Dean said coldly, “I told you that I was coming here; that I want to stay here in Zion with Cas.”

Sam was in shock at his brother, so firm on something when he was speaking to his brother. “But, Dean - ”

Dean shook his head. “I’m sorry, Sam. Really. But I’ve decided to do this for myself, to be happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time.” Dean sighed, looking down before looking back to Sam straight in the eye. “Not since Mom.”

Sam staggered back. It was a low blow and they both knew it. “Dean…”

“Sam, please. Just let me have this. Just this.”

“But, Dean, I can’t…” Sam took a deep breath. “We can’t survive without you. We know this now. We fall apart so easily without you there. We didn’t appreciate you when you were and he… we both… pushed you away. Away to the Nixies.”

Dean shook in anger and yelled, “Don’t call them that! They’re Angels and we were wrong! They just want to make us happy and save us from the Abyss!” Castiel held him when he started to shake, and both ignored Sam’s judging stare.

Sam was cold, ignoring Castiel and looking only at Dean. “The Abyss is your home, Dean. You still have the mark.”

Dean threw his hand behind his neck before he shrugged Castiel off, needing to face his brother and let him know that he’s never going back. “Not for long. I’m going to get wings,” Dean told Sam, who looked at him in shock. He just shrugged. “I know right? I’ll be the first Lump to become an Angel. And you’re not even happy for me.”

Sam sighed sadly. “I’m sorry, Dean, I really am. But I can’t allow that. I could only hope you forgive me.”

And before anyone can do anything Sam grabbed Dean by the hand and pulled him in for a kiss, touching the sigil on the back of his neck that symbolized that he was Lump Royalty. Dean went limp as Sam pushed something deep in his throat, going down without him even swallowing.

“If you know what’s good for the both of you, you won’t follow us.” Sam retreated with his brother in his arms, disappearing with a pop. 

Castiel blinked, muttering, “Fuck that,” before hiding his wings and going after them.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

John watched from his throne as his youngest entered with his oldest in his arms. “Ah, Sammy. I see you brought your brother back.”

“It’s Sam.” Sam gently placed Dean down on the carpet, still in his humanoid form. “I’m surprised you could tell this was him. I was only able to tell from his eyes.”

John chuckled, eyes only on Dean. “Oh, Sammy, I’d be able to recognize Dean anywhere.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

He remembered what Dean said that time, that in order to travel you’d have to use a car. Dean’s Impala, or Baby as he called it, was the one thing he refused to leave the Abyss without. Castiel was able to retrieve it with a crystal he kept with him at all times when Dean kept the shrunken model in his pockets and drove on cautiously, not wanting to harm Dean’s last and only possession from his home.

Castiel wandered the Lumpy clouds, searching for any traces of Dean or Sam. It has been the first time he had been in Lumpy Space; usually Dean runs away to Zion before finally deciding to just stay there with Cas. Michael certainly didn’t mind and Cas was the one who kept asking him to just stay with him. 

Finally, he acknowledged that he needed help. “Yes, hi, I’m looking for the Winchesters?” he asked as he drove up to a random passerby.

“The Winchesters? You mean the Royal Family Winchesters?” The Lump pointed upwards. “Highest cloud. Funny, the king claims he’s trying to save us yet he leaves us all down here and himself and his family up there closes to Zion. Maybe he doesn’t really want to save us.”

Castiel smiled sadly. “Maybe.”

The passerby blinked, looking at the Impala closely. “Hey isn’t that the Royal Car - ”

Cas laughed nervously. “Noooo, what? I don’t even know. Whoops, gotta go thanks for your help bye.”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

By the time Dean had woken up, it was too late. 

The Lumpiness was coming back.

Slowly but surely, Dean could feel a lump where his birthmark was.

He couldn’t help but yell silently at the horror, after finally getting used to his smooth body that Cas’ feathers gave him. Although he told Cas he was a natural at being smooth, that would mean that the Lumps would come back if he wasn’t comforted with the Angel’s black feathers.

“You’re awake.”

Dean turned to notice his father beside him in bed. “Where’s Sam?” he asked, looking around and not finding his brother.

“Out taking care of your Nixie. Say,” John caressed Dean’s face. “I rather like you feeling smooth, like me. What would you say to you staying that way?”

Dean’s mouth was dry. “Y-you don't mean…”

John grinned wickedly as he lowered his hand to Dean’s back.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Cas finally found Dean’s Impala’s parking spot and knew he had found the correct lump cloud. “Now I remember why I never came over. Forgot how much I hate Lumpy Space,” he muttered, wiping his brow. He pulled up, stepped out, and turned the Impala back into its toy form to place back in pocket away from Dean’s sight and knowledgement.

“Castiel.”

“Sam.”

Sam threw over a crystal, which Castiel caught effortlessly. “Just leave,” Sam warned. “Dean is finally where he belongs.”

Castiel snorted, completely un-angel like. “I sincerely doubt that since he’s not with me.”

The door of the house opens, and Dean is walking out, floating, behind his father with John’s arm over his shoulders. He’s not completely lumpy, but too lumpy and he’s already turned a light green. He doesn’t even acknowledge that Castiel is even there. 

“Get out of here, Nixie,” John orders, kissing Dean’s head and neck. He pulls him close, too close. “My son is finally where he belongs, with me.”

“Us,” Sam corrected.

Dean looks so dead in John’s embrace, and it was getting too touchy – too similar to how close Castiel and Dean were – for it to be a family thing since Sam was all the way over there. 

Castiel inched closer and closer to Dean as inconspicuous as he could. Sam was staring at his father, who was coming on to the zombie, lumpy Dean. Castiel wanted to punch him in the face, but had a better idea. 

He grabbed Dean’s hand tight and pulled him away from his father’s kisses. He kept distance from the both of them, keeping distance from both Sam and John. Dean slowly turned to him, life and spark coming back to his eyes. Cas yelled, “Fuck that!” before he took out a crystal from his pocket and threw it at the ground, making the two disappear in a poof of smoke.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Cas kissed Dean deeply, making sure to suck away all of the Lumpiness that John had infected Dean with, but it wasn’t much.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean said breathlessly. ”I’m never going back. Ever,” he promised, more so to himself than to the Angel holding him tight.

Castiel blinked out tear gems from his eyes holding what was left of Dean’s lumpiness. Wiping them away, he smiled warmly. “Not a problem, Dean. I’d do anything for you. You know I love you.” 

Dean blushed. “Love you too,” he muttered, embarrassed. Castiel just laughed and kissed him all over with Dean kissing him back. They started moaning and groaning, groping each other intimately.

Now all they needed was to stop for a few seconds and maybe Michael would stop blushing and staring and just give Dean his well deserved wings already.


End file.
